The year of 2015 has been a challenging year. It has certainly been the most difficult year mentally and spiritually for me yet. Fear and anxiety have been repeating offenders over my heart as I struggled to trust myself as an adult, find security in my donors, and simply trust in God with everything. Though I don’t believe that God necessarily operates in calendar years like us, I do believe that the year 2016 represents even more freedom than what I have found in 2015.
This morning, God gave me a powerful, yet interesting, image. Whether I was sleeping, falling asleep again after 4 am prayer, or actually at 4 am prayer, I cannot remember. I saw a line of chickens in single file coming against me. They came at me from ahead and were crashing against me as I tried moving forward. It made my advancement extremely labored.
Then God began to reveal the meaning of this image to me. My moving forward represented moving forward in time, and the chickens coming against me were fears and anxieties (naturally… because chickens!). And then, God began to show me how (and I know how ridiculous this will sound) as each chicken approached me, He had already dealt with that chicken. He had already dealt with that circumstance full of potential fear and anxiety. I saw the whole string of chickens as time markers and was able to see how God had already been to each point and prepared each of those moments for me ahead of time. There is never a moment that we pass through that God has not been to before hand to prepare it for the children that He loves and cares for. Instead of facing these chickens and becoming fearful or anxious over them, I can look at them as simply checkpoints that God has cleared in advance for me. This revelation has opened my eyes to a whole new level of how God provides for me. He doesn’t just provide for me in the moment, rather He goes forward, further down the track than where I am, and He prepares the way.
What an incredible comfort this understanding invokes. How greatly do I feel God’s care for me as a child as I come to realize that He has been to and shaped every moment of my present before I actually arrive. WOW!
Image belongs to Trevor Ruhland Allen